Oh Christmas Tree.......

It's that time of year again; Holicraze has begun.Thankfully having kids in the house during Christmas time brings back the little joys of Christmas I have forgotten as an adult. Watching Anya light up last year when she experienced Snowflake Lane for the first time was truly magical. She danced with Frosty and the Snow Princesses- it was bliss. We went again this year and she was very excited. She danced with her favorite characters again and we all enjoyed the show.

We have also visited Santa already. It went very well. I had prepped Anya with her answer for Santa. Not all went as planned with that part of the visit though. Instead of waiting for Santa to ask her what she wanted for Christmas Anya told him she wanted an Ariel watch the moment she sat on his lap. He looked  a little shocked at her forward request. She then proceeded to tell him that her mom and dad call him all the time. Nice. Now Santa thinks we are stellar parents. We have had several conversations with him when we are within earshot of Anya in hopes of correcting some behavior issues. So far it isn't working.

Since this post is focusing on Anya, let's talk about her as a big sister. SHE IS AMAZING! Granted Elin isn't moving yet so she isn't getting into Anya's stuff at all, I'm just enjoying this stage right now. Anya loves to get toys for Elin to look at and will sit and play with her to keep her from crying. She also distracts Elin in the car when she screams (she HATES the car) by singing songs to her.

4 month stat update

Elin had her four month appointment two weeks ago. She was happy and loved the doctor. She even giggled when he checked her heartbeat with his stethoscope. She is so ticklish. She avoided her vaccinations at her two month appointment because she had a cold. We had to go back in several weeks later to get them. For those of you with children who get them vaccinated you will be familiar with the Rotavirus vaccination that they administer orally. Since Elin is a puker she literally vomited the vaccination all over the nurse last time.

So this time we got to try again. Thankfully she kept it down and then was rewarded by having three separate jabs in her legs. Her face turned bright red and she cried so hard she didn't even make a sound. And then she turns her sad screaming face toward me and looks at me as if I betrayed her trust.  I swear having your child vaccinated is one of the worst things ever.  It only took a few minutes to calm her down and nursing helped get her mind reset.
Her stats from this appointment are weight 13 lbs 8 oz 55%, length 24 inches 45%, head 16 inches 50%, So we have an average baby even though her chunkiness may lead you to believe otherwise. She wore her hearing aids for the doctor and seems to be happiest when she has them on now. Everything else looked normal and she was given a check of approval for whatever babies need to accomplish by 4 months.
We celebrated Thanksgiving up at our Hood Canal cabin and spent four days up there. We stayed in the newly renovated "boat house". It is so nice to have our own space especially when Elin wakes up in the middle of the night. We all share a room out there and it actually went very well. Elin started sleeping though the night in fact. Hallelujah!  Since we've been home she has reverted to waking up once usually but has nights where she sleeps straight until 7am. I feel like a new woman when I get 6 to 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Nearing 4 months

I officially feel guilty. People always said that you take a million pictures of your first born and have two pictures of second kids. I think I'm running into the same problem keeping up Elin's blog. I just don't have time.  HOWEVER- I am making a concerted effort to take lots of pictures at least. So here is an update for the last month and a half. 

Elin had a playdate with her cousin Drew who is about 3 weeks younger than her. They are two cute fat babies and had a blast chatting to each other on the blanket. It will be so fun to see how these two grow up together since they are so close in age.

We had professional pictures taken when Elin was two months old and got them back a few weeks ago. They turned out terrific and Anya is the most photogenic of the group. Here are a few of my favorites.

We had our good friends from Australia visit for the last two weeks. Harry was amazing with Elin and he and Anya loved seeing each other again. We had many adventures including a trip to the cabin. Since we don't have a bathtub there Elin gets to sit in her jacuzzi tub in the sink. This kid loves her baths! 

Elin is robust. She has rolls upon rolls and her belly shakes when she giggles. She even has "muffin top" coming over her diaper! (Time to go up a size I know- BUT I bought a huge box at Costco and need to use them all first) She loves to eat and still nurses about every two hours if not more frequently  She takes a bottle like a champ so I am able to get out and about without worrying about her starving. 

We had a rough time with her sleeping about three weeks ago. She was still in her bassinet in our room. We were swaddling her at night too. She started waking at 2am and staying awake until 5am every night. Needless to say this was wreaking havoc on all our lives. To make matters worse she wasn't sleeping at all during the day either. The kid was working herself into a state of sleep deprivation. She is normally happy most the time unless she is hungry. Our sweet happy baby was a tired crying mess and we were quickly deteriorating too. I was clocking her naps and nighttime sleep and she was totaling between 7-9 hours in a 24 hour period. The average sleep recommended for a baby her age was 15 hours! We had a major problem and nothing we were doing seemed to be fixing it. 

We consulted other parents and the all knowing grandmothers and switched up our game plan. She has very bad reflux which means she spits up and vomits a lot especially when she is on her back. So what if we tried to prop her on her side to sleep? That did it. She was unswaddled and moved into her own room and own crib, propped on her side and she slept for a solid 9 hours. Since that wonderful discovery we have had regular naps in the crib and she goes down around 10 at night and sleeps until 7am. She usually wakes around 3am for a feeding but it is quick and she goes right back down now. Caveat- this is most nights. We have good nights and not so good nights but this is the normal pattern. 

Tummy sleeping is her most favorite position but we can't do that unless we watch her like a hawk. I freak out the entire time she is on her stomach but she can nap for 3 hours that way easy. For my sanity the side sleeping is the way to go. 

Hearing aids are a go

This was a very big week for us. Elin went in on Monday and got fitted for her hearing aids. She was fussy and annoyed with the initial ear tampering but her eyes just about popped out of her head when they were on and she could hear our voices more clearly. It was amazing to witness and we are so thankful to have them this early in her life.

(First time Elin hears our voices with her hearing aids in- it's incredible!)

The birth to 3 program for early intervention hearing loss in our state is incredible. We have been guided through this process so seamlessly it makes the whole experience not only tolerable but also enjoyable. We are able to share in Elin's small successes with professionals encouraging our excitement.

We have been assigned a Family Resource Counselor who works with families with children with hearing loss. She helps us pick an early intervention program and works as an advocate for us between our audiologist, the program, and the state. We are able to apply for funding to help pay for Elin's hearing aids and ear molds through this program as well.

The three early intervention programs are all unique and highly regarded in our community. We had a difficult time deciding between two of them. Seattle Children's has a program called Family Conversations that uses both aural rehabilitation and sign language to aid children with hearing loss in their auditory and speech development. The other program is called Listen and Talk and they focus mainly on each child's individual listening skills based on their audiograms (range of hearing) to help develop speech and language. Each program sends a specialist to our house once a week for the first 3 years of Elin's life to help her and us work within the constraints of her hearing loss. They also have parent groups and group meetings where families meet and the kids play and learn with other kids that have similar disabilities. It is amazing. Oh yeah by the way, it is no cost to us. It is funded through private fundraisers and state education monies.

Our dilemma was whether to go with a program that includes sign language as a back up way of communication for Elin or to solely focus on her listening skills so she could mainstream into school as a verbal/auditory student. We were concerned if we skipped sign language altogether we might be missing out on a skill set we desperately need down the road. BUT what we ultimately want for Elin is for her to be just like us and not have to rely on sign language at all.

So naturally I turned to the experts. My uncle Jim (the audiologist) helped define the positives and negatives of each program but ultimately he couldn't give me a definitive answer and directed me to speak to a colleague  She is the head of children's audiology at Atlanta children's hospital . She has worked in the field of aural rehabilitation and has first hand knowledge about the outcomes of such programs. Given what we know about Elin and  her particular hearing loss at this time she assured me that programs like Listen and Talk that focus solely on aural rehabilitation produce fabulous outcomes and kids easily mainstream into education. If Elin's hearing loss is progressive (meaning worsens) or any other factors/complication pop up as she grows we might need to rethink our choice. Thankfully we can change programs if need be anytime during her 0-3 years.

So that is what we have been up too. Elin has worn her hearing aids for 5 days. We put them in when she is awake and spend all our time talking, singing, and delighting in her reactions. She shouldn't wear them in the carseat in case she gets a hold of one and chews on it or throws it somewhere. Since she is still so little I have purchased a hat that ties under her chin securing the hearing aids under the earflaps. She spends a lot of time carted around in the carseat to and from her sister's activities so this will buy her a little more time with them in until she gets too big to be trusted alone with them.

(Our Aussie friend Belinda chatting with Elin day one of hearing aids)

We are so excited to see how these amazing tools will help her flourish. Hooray for technology!

Halloween under the sea

We had a very successful Halloween. Anya announced she wanted to be a princess (go figure) so we picked her favorite one- Ariel- and made her a mermaid princess. Being 3 months old Elin had no say in her costume choice so of course I found an adorable Flounder costume and she wore it with little complaint. For those of you who don't know, Flounder is Ariel's best friend. 

Our PEPS group still meets for a yearly Halloween party where all the kids dress up, some cry, and we drink wine and laugh. Now there are many more kids since some of the families are pregnant with their third children already. You can imagine the commotion when a large group of 3 year olds and all their younger siblings are forced to dress up and pose for a picture. We don't have one with all the kids in it but we have several good ones!

Anya also had a preschool Halloween party so she got dressed up once again. She frosted cupcakes, carved pumpkins, listened to a Halloween story, got her face painted and danced. It was awesome- all within a one hour time frame  They crammed over 60 people in the small church preschool room- it was chaotic and fabulous. Kids hopped up on cupcakes, frosting, and candy corn in costume.

On the actual night of Halloween Anya and Elin dressed up once more and went trick or treating in Ahma and Bobpop's neighborhood.  Anya's friend Charlie came with his parents and joined us.too. They had a great time and loved being out in the dark. It was definitely cool  to be out walking around at night and the candy was just an added bonus.

10 weeks... but who's counting?

Elin had her two month appointment this week but she is really 10 weeks old this week. We knew our little munchkin was gaining weight and getting a bit "chunky" and now her stats are in.
She weighs 11 lbs 6 oz which puts her in the 50%. Her height is 22 1/2 inches 30% and her head is in the 25%. She is growing well and is a healthy baby. She is developing a little bit of a flat spot on her head so we need to be conscious of turning her head the other way. Myles called it the "second kid flat spot". She isn't held as much as Anya was because we are so busy with guess who?
Anya started preschool last week and absolutely loves it. Besides lovely artwork she brought home a cold in the first week and shared it with Elin. Poor girl has been snorting ever since. I found out from our pediatrician that babies only breathe through their nose for the first 6 months so no wonder she is having so much trouble. Thankfully it is only a minor cold and Anya recovered from it quickly so we have our fingers crossed that Elin will do the same.

Despite Elin's prognosis of hearing loss it seems like she hears all sorts of things. I know that if she hadn't failed the hearing screen I would have no idea that she suffered from any sort of hearing loss. She responds to us when we talk to her and coos back in conversation. She turns her head towards us when we talk and reacts to certain sounds. However since we know she has some loss other things are more obvious. She never startles to any loud noise, she isn't upset by loud noises and our singing doesn't bother her (this last one is a joke....) We are anxious for November 13th when she gets her hearing aids to see how she reacts and to begin her path to catching up on the three + months she missed out on.

Sleeping- well that has been a challenge. We had one glorious night when she slept from 10pm to 6:45am. I was up several times checking to make sure she was breathing but she slept hard. Since then we have had good nights and really really bad nights. The worst was a few weeks ago when I was up with her from 1:30am until 5am- that sucked. She was having some sort of tummy discomfort and couldn't settle back to sleep ever. Myles and I were severely tired the next day. It is the cumulative sleep deprivation that really gets to me. One bad night isn't so bad but when we line up a few back to back I start to get loopy and can't function well. I still manage to make it through the days somehow but it takes all my mental capacity to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for Anya. The nice thing about having a second child is that I know this will end. I know I will sleep again- it may be a while- but somewhere, sometime there is light at the end of this tunnel. Until then I deal with it, take naps, and Myles helps on the weekends ALOT!

Alright enough about my sleep gripes- Elin gets carted around everyday to take Anya here and there. She is a trooper and spends her mornings in a carseat or a front carrier going to all Anya's multiple activities. Right now it is easy because she doesn't have a set schedule. I anticipate it to become more challenging when this running around affects her morning naps but I have a feeling her naps will just be in the car. Poor second kid- no nice cozy morning nap in her crib.

We have had gloriiuos weather this fall so we have all been able to spend extra time outside in the sunshine. Anya loves kissing and hugging her sister especially when Elin is happily kicking on the ground outside. 

Two months old!

Well it's definitely been a long two months that's for sure. Elin is thriving and getting a bit on the chunky side. Anya was a pretty small and skinny baby but Elin..... not so much!
She has several chins and Michelin Man arms and legs. Chubby babies sure are cute though.
The reason for her "beefiness" is her constant need to feed. She LOVES to nurse and I am getting quite good at finding things on my phone to occupy my time as I sit and feed her. There has been more then one occasion when Myles has found some piece of food on Elin and quizzically asked me where it came from. Well a nursing mom has to eat too and sometimes that requires me to do it while Elin is nursing and sometimes I drop food since I can't sit up at the table. Sheesh.

Elin has been smiling for four weeks now but the really good ones are just coming out. You can see her whole set of top gums and she giggles a bit too. She likes to have conversations and coos and responds when we talk to her. She particularly likes her Ahma and Diane Sweeney; both these ladies have the gift of baby gab apparently.

Anya is doing remarkably well with the addition of Elin to our family. We had a couple of rough weeks but I think we were also ironing out some "3" year old issues coupled with new baby. She has since returned to her normal sweet self and absolutely adores Elin. She does however think Elin looks like a boy but I do too so at least we are on the same page!

Sleeping you ask- oh yes, we don't do that anymore. No, it's actually not that bad. She usually gets up around 2am and again around 5. We have bad nights and easier nights but we knew what we were in for this time around. She is still in the room with us in her bassinet. I'm feeling brave and might be able to move her out after her first feeding into her room each night. I still check to make sure she is breathing often though so I'm not sure how this is going to go.

Elin can hear good enough to be woken by very noisy garbage trucks at 6am and Myles alarm at 4:45am. I was kind of hoping that the hard of hearing thing would lead to a very hard sleeper. Not the case here.
We had Elin's final hearing test last week. We were able to get all the results (finally) and have a good idea about her hearing loss right now. She will be fitted with her hearing aids for both ears on November 13th. We are excited to see the change. We are meeting with a Family Resource Coordinator next week and can set up our next steps to connect with other families and specialists in the area.

We traveled with Elin a few weeks ago. My friend Kelly Bratton got married at Lake Tahoe and we went down to celebrate the event. Anya stayed with Ahma and Bobpop and Elin came with us. It was soooo easy travelling with an infant. After having taken many plane rides with Anya and varying ages and infant is the absolute easiest age to take on a plane. Elin was amazing and the wedding was fabulous.

Anya has started Preschool this week and will go Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. It is a coop so I work sometimes and other times I just drop her off. It's only for 2 1/2 hours but it's great for both of us. She is enjoying it and meeting some nice new friends. Anya was a flower girl in my friend Drew's wedding this past weekend. She did a fabulous job and made sure to get every last petal out of her basket.

Elin's hearing

Thank god for newborn hearing screens. Elin had her newborn hearing screen the same morning we were anxiously waiting to find out whether we would be leaving the hospital to take her home. That morning we had received the bad news that her platelet count was low and we might not be able to go home as we had expected. We spent the whole morning watching nurses and doctors draw Elin's blood again and again as the platelet test samples kept clotting in the lab. It was an excruciating wait to find out if our baby was healthy enough to leave the confines of the hospital. During that same time we had Elin's newborn hearing screen. The woman tested her once, she failed, so she tested her again. And again she failed. As not to alarm us she said that many times babies that are in the NICU fail their tests only to be successful later. BUT we needed to see an audiologist to make sure everything was fine in a few weeks.
Shortly after hearing this news we received the fabulous go ahead to leave the hospital. Both Myles and I easily dismissed the failed hearing test and weren't concerned about her hearing upon leaving the hospital. I did do as I was instructed and set an appointment for Elin to see an ENT (ear, nose and throat) doctor and an audiologist.

On August 30th, Elin and I went to Swedish Issaquah for her appointment. I was completely unprepared for what was about to happen. I had convinced myself that Elin could hear just fine and her reasons for failing the screen in the hospital were simply the result of her traumatic episode and subsequent treatments.  The ENT checked her out and said there was nothing physically wrong with Elin's ears. Next we went to see the audiologist for the testing. Elin was supposed to sleep during the tests so they can measure the brains response to sounds they emit through tiny earbuds in her ears. Elin always sleeps most the morning but do you think she slept one wink during that 2 1/2 hour appointment. Nope. I was stressing trying to feed her, comfort her and get her to sleep so we could get on the with the tests and find out everything was fine. By the end of our time Brenna- the audiologist- said she wanted to discuss the results she was able to get with me. What came next was the biggest shock of my life. Brenna very calmly informed me my child had severe hearing loss. WHAT? COME AGAIN? It was as if someone told me I couldn't hear- I just couldn't believe it. She spent more then a 1/2 hour explaining to me what this meant and how I should proceed. I think I took in about 10% of what she was saying because I was in such shock. She handed me a large binder with tons of information in it about deaf children and sent me on my way.

I had gone into the appointment with no hesitation- no worry what so ever about Elin's hearing, now that seemed so naive of me. Out child would need special help her whole life.
Since Elin didn't sleep the results were sketchy. We knew she had poor hearing but didn't know what degree of hearing loss we were dealing with. In the most serendipitous of events my Uncle was in town that same week from North Carolina and he is a retired audiologist. The timing was amazing. We went to the cabin that weekend with my parents and my aunt and uncle. Jim (my uncle) spent hours explaining the results of Elin's tests and answered our multitude of questions. He simplified the world of hearing and hearing loss so well we felt we had a good grasp on what was to come and whatever the follow up tests would bring. We knew Elin could possibly need hearing aids or cochlear implants if her hearing loss was profound. He also informed us that she would most likely develop language and be able to speak and attend normal school. Thankfully we caught this at such a young age that she will be able to progress with her language development on a somewhat normal path. We will need therapy and it will be a challenge but Elin will live life like a normal hearing child with all our best effort.
Yesterday we had her follow up appointment at Seattle Children's in Bellevue. Brenna, the Swedish audiologist believed we would get the best care at Children's since they specialize in pediatrics. I kept Elin awake and hungry several hours before her appointment but even with a full tummy and totally exhausted she still fought sleep. Myles, with his amazing touch and swaddling technique, was eventually able to get her to rest. We were able to get about an hour of sleep testing done and now have a clearer picture of the extent of her hearing loss. She has severe hearing loss in her right ear and moderate hearing loss in her left ear.  She will wear powerful hearing aids on both ears which will help bring her level of hearing up. She has an appointment set for November 13th to have her hearing aids fitted. Until that point we are speaking to her normally and focusing on the left ear.

This is the simplified diagram of Elin's hearing from the results we have right now. The red is the right ear and the blue is the left.

When she gets her hearing aids there will be an adjustment period for her. As you can imagine it will be an intense change to go from the muffled unintelligible sounds she is used to to a louder volume and clearer noises. We will leave them on for however long she can tolerate them and always remove them when she sleeps. The trick will be getting her to keep them in when she is awake and batting at them as she gets older.

Elin with foam molds in her  ears for hearing aids

Unfortunately we didn't get all the testing completed during this visit either so I am returning next Monday to hopefully finish the process. With the results of these tests they are able to program and fine tune her hearing aids to the correct volumes and frequencies for her particular hearing levels.
We are being assigned a Family Resource Coordinator to help us navigate this new realm of infant hearing loss. I will update the blog as we make headway and start figuring out how to approach her hearing loss.
For the time being we will be learning some sign language and spending time cuddling and loving our special girl.
I was sent this link from a friend and I think it really encapsulates how we feel right now. Please feel free to read it.
http://www.thecainfoundation.com/bor/site/TheFoundation/WelcometoHollandPoem/tabid/99/Default.aspx

First 5 weeks

Once we got Elin home we settled right into our new chaotic life. Myles went back to work the Wednesday after Elin was born and that first morning home by myself with two girls was tough- I'm not gonna lie. During breakfast Anya hurt herself and was crying and then Elin started crying and I was about to cry because it was nearly 9:30 and I'd been up since 6 and hadn't been able to eat a thing. But alas, everyone was settled and I'm sure I was able to scarf some form of food down before it was lunchtime.

 Elin has been down to Gig Harbor twice and Hood Canal twice and spent one night on Ahma and Bobpop's boat. Yes- we have been busy. No rest for the weary here.

The first trip to the cabin was in August with Ahma, Bobpop, Aunt Natalie and Uncle Scott. Anya had a blast floating and swimming and Elin spent some quality time with her grandparents and aunt and uncle. We just spent labor day weekend at the cabin again and Aunt Sally and Uncle Jim were in town from North Carolina. Anya loved playing with Jim and Sally scored major points by bringing Anya some awesome new books and reading them to her over and over again. Sally spent a lot of time holding Elin and she happily slept in her arms.

We have visited Oma, Opa, Gee Gee and Grumps in Gig Harbor too. Elin was able to meet her cousin Drew during our most recent trip down. He is three weeks younger than her. Anya loves playing with her older cousins. 

Anya is having a ball with her little sis. She kisses and hugs her all the time and Elin seems to enjoy it. She is actually doing much better then we had expected. She is challenging Myles and I more but is an absolute angel to her sister. Oh yeah, Boone loves Elin too!

Myles has been back to work full time for over a month now and I am able to handle the juggling of two kids better each day. It only takes us around a hour to get out of the house now! I wish I was kidding about this! Myles gets home about the time Anya wakes from her nap and gets to spend some quality time with both his daughters. He is amazing with them both and I love to watch him in action. The girls are very lucky to have such a capable and loving dad.

Scare of a lifetime

Our first night with our newborn was sleepless but thrilling. It was so wonderful to hear all those newborn baby noises again and hold and nurse that tiny little person. At about 7:45 am our pediatrician Dave Hildebrand came in and examined Elin. He mentioned her "clubbish" feet but other than that all seemed to be perfectly healthy.
About 15 minutes later after Myles had changed Elin's diaper he turned to me and said she's turning purple. Once a caught a glimpse of her pallor I felt my heart collapse into despair. We called the doctors and they quickly responded. Dr Hildebrand removed her shirt and rubbed her back vigorously. She was a horrible color purple and obviously not breathing. They rushed her out of the room and ran down the hallway with her.
I was left sitting in my bed wondering if my baby had just died in front of my eyes. It was the most horrific feeling a mother can ever experience. I heard alarms and code blue being announced over the loud speaker. People were rushing down the hallway toward my child. I just sat there in shock and couldn't move. Part of me wanted to remain in bed and believe all was fine but after a minute or two I gathered my senses and got out of bed. I had given birth 13 hours earlier so I was sore and unstable but I slowly made my way down the hall. Myles had gone with the rush of doctors so he was already down there.
When I entered the room there were at least 20 people in the NICU trying to help bring my daughter back. She had a bag valve mask on her face and they were pumping oxygen into her lungs. My doctor came to me and hugged me as I entered. She reassured me by telling me she was "pinking up". In my stupor I asked her what that meant- I think I just wanted someone to tell me she would be okay. SHE WAS BREATHING. They put an IV in her little hand and attached more monitors and things to her little bare body. Myles was white, I was ashen, but our baby was pink again. She had gone from a dusky eggplant color to a pink baby again. We were by no means feeling better but a small amount of relief waved over both Myles and I. Seeing our baby attended to by so many professionals was reassuring and terrifying at the same time.
 This occurred around 8am on Wednesday July 25th only 13 hours after Elin had been born. We remained at Swedish Issaquah and Elin was monitored and tested relentlessly. She had a chest X-ray, a heart echo and blood drawn for multiple tests. They started her on antibiotics in case she had an infection. I tried to nurse her but she was not responsive. Then the word came that she would need to be transferred to a hospital where they could monitor her. Swedish Issaquah did not have the level of NICU monitoring they wanted for Elin. We were devastated and didn't want to have our baby take a trip in an ambulance and go to another hospital especially a NICU unit. But of course we did whatever the doctors suggested.
So about 3pm the ambulance came and they put Elin in a special incubator transporter where she could remain monitored in the ambulance. We were to follow behind in our car. I was discharged from the hospital and we made our way to Swedish First Hill. The car ride was excruciating. I didn't want to be more then 2 feet away from my baby let alone an entire car behind her. I was thankful for the privacy of our own car though because for the first time that day I was able to let the entire event wash over me and I was overcome with emotion. Myles consoled me the best he could while he drove but the combination of post pregnancy hormones with nearly losing your newborn baby emotions meant I was one mess of a mom.
Once at First Hill we navigated our way to the NICU and tried to find out how we could find our daughter. We were let in by a Chaplin and showed the proper handwashing technique. The NICU is a very sterile place and they require strict procedures for visitors and parents. We were led back and were astonished by the amount of babies in the NICU and the set up of rooms. They were partitioned off into cubes with 4-8 babies in each section. Elin was hooked up to monitors and had one nurse who was monitoring 4 babies. There were monitor alarms beeping all the time and we were constantly on edge that it might be Elin's alerting us to some problem. 99% of the time it was nothing major but it still was disconcerting to hear the beeps. Most the other babies were preemies, some had been in the NICU for months. Knowing our baby was term and healthy (despite her apneic episode) was comforting; things could be a lot worse and being in the NICU reminded us of that every second we were there.

 Anya came in to see her baby sister for the first time. It was really hard for all of us. Elin had so many wires attached to her it was difficult for even me to pick her up and hold her. Anya wanted to hug and kiss her but we were worried about her snagging Elin's IV or other monitoring wires. It was hard to let her touch her much at all. Not at all what I had envisioned for Anya's first introduction to her baby sister.

 Since I had been discharged we had no room or place to stay. Fortunately First Hill has 6 rooms that are donated for parents of NICU babies to stay in for free. We were able to snag a room for the first night. I made arrangements with the night nurse to check on Elin if I woke up and to have her call me if Elin woke and was hungry. I went up once at 12:30 but she wasn't hungry. The nurse called me at 3:30 and I fed her. She called again at 7 right before shift change and I had to wait until 7:45 to go up and feed her because no one can leave or come during shift change. We actually slept fairly well because we knew our daughter was being watched constantly by a nurse. It was much needed rest.

Day 2 in the NICU was more of the same until we received the welcome news that Elin was being "downgraded" into a sleeping in room with us. She would still be monitored and the nurse checked on her often but we had our own private room complete with a bed for me and a "sleeping chair" for Myles. We were so excited to be out of the sterile NICU an into the more comforting feel of a hospital room- as ridiculous as that sounds! Elin's bilirubin levels were increasing (her jaundice was getting worse) so she spent a full 24 hours under the blue lights. She was naked except for her diaper and had to wear black out shades on her eyes. She looked kind of pathetic and we were only supposed to take her out to feed her. No cuddling for hours like normal and poor Myles hardly held her during that time. She seemed to like it though and was fine as long as we had the heat in the room cranked up to 85 degrees. Sleeping at night was very challenging.  Monitors would go off, nurses would be in and out, Elin would wake up to eat and the room was lit up like an aquarium. Despite all those factors we were overjoyed to be sharing the space with our little girl.  We spent Thursday and Friday night in that room and were told late Friday that we would most likely be leaving on Saturday. We couldn't wait to get out of there and return home and start our new life as a foursome. Plus we were feeling increasing guilty about not being able to see Anya. Myles was able to go and spend some time with her Friday so he gave my parents a break and helped Anya feel like we hadn't totally abandoned her. I had to remain at the hospital to feed Elin and I couldn't will myself to leave her side anyway.

On Saturday morning we anxiously awaited the doctors visit. Elin had not had anymore apneic episodes and her jaundice was getting better. HOWEVER her platelet count had come back very low and they needed to retest before we could leave. Our hopes were crushed but we kept our fingers crossed that the second test results would differ.

After waiting several hours we were informed the second test clotted as well and they needed to draw blood again. Our poor daughter had been poked so many times they couldn't even draw blood out of her little heels anymore. They took the third sample from her head. Yes, her head-poor thing. By this point she didn't even cry anymore when they poked her- I on the other hand had just about had it with all the messed up lab results. Finally by 2pm the third test worked and her platelets were high enough for us to go home.I cried as we dressed Elin in her going home outfit and placed her in her carseat. I have never been so happy to leave anywhere in my entire life. Elin made quite a splash as she entered our world.